Last week, my creative slump came to an end. I was sitting in the rocking chair, watching the kids play, looking out at a peach coloured sunrise, and the beginnings of a poem crept into my mind. I jotted some things down and then waited impatiently for P to get up, have his first cup of coffee, and relieve me so I could run upstairs and write.

Ending a fallow period of writing is like, if you’ll allow the adult comparison, having sex after a long dry spell. It is that basic, that animal, of a feeling. For me, at least. It’s a few weeks of nothing and then suddenly: a rush, a flurry, the inspiration sweeping me along, words beating in my brain; the feeling that this is finally going to happen. The dash to the bedroom, to the desk, fumbling at the laptop, the pen lid, the button on a shirt. The pouring fourth across the page, across the screen. The high and then, the slow come-down.

Ah. ย Relief. I expect the clouds to open in heavy rain, the birds singing from sheltered perches in the trees.

I am grateful. Let my heart fill with gratitude for this return of words. Of course I knew they’d come. I glow with my thanks. I carry it over into my day. Thank you, Muse, thank you, Inspiration, for visiting me again. I’m always here, listening, ready. Writing like this is like communion, it is natural and also sacred; sex and life and love. It doesn’t always happen like that, the burst of inspiration, but when it does, it’s magic.

Now is the real work of going back over that inspired piece, which is always a bit messy. There are parts of it that are downright cliched, but in editing I work them over to bring out the truth, the essence of what I was trying to say. Sometimes in those hurried inspired times, I resort to cliche as a sort of shorthand. It can be frustrating to try and root out the right words, but I’m learning to enjoy the revision as much as the initial burst of writing.

I’m looking down the nose of a week of solo parenting, and so my writing slips from a regular practice to something I have to try and fit in where I can. I feel like there are so many things I’m trying to “fit in where I can”, and they all feel important to me. I’ve been trying to begin a regular yoga practice, even just 20 minutes a day, and I’m trying to meditate for 10 minutes after the kids go to bed. Plus keep up with the several books I usually have on the go, favourite blogs, this blog, and oh yeah, those three kids…it all feels like so much, but I guess another way to look at it is with gratitude. I’m grateful that I even have the freedom and luxury to be considering all of these things (writing! yoga! meditation!) in my life. Self-care has become such a huge priority these days, and having a partner who works from home and can help facilitate all of this is a real gift.


This post is a part of the What I’m Writing link-up.

15 thoughts on “Gratitude”

  1. Glad to hear your creative mojo came back. I agree going back and editing is as important as that initial burst of inspiration – even if it's not quite as fun! Good luck with it all. Becky ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. That's a very good way of describing the rush of inspiration and then the rush of writing the first draft. Wonderful! Hope it continues when you find some more slivers of time in your busy mama life. ๐Ÿ™‚ Best wishes from Marija x


  3. Oh, that creative burst sounds hot, hot hot! So glad you've got your mojo back. Good luck with a week of solo parenting – it does get frustrating when there's stuff you want to write and you can't quite yet because you're having to parent and cook and clean. I often go over and over words in my head trying to get them indelible so they don't disappear before I get the chance to write them down! Sounds like you've got a great attitude to it all though. Thanks for linking to #whatImWriting


  4. An interesting take on that glorious moment when the Muse returns from his ramblings (am I the only one to have a male Muse?) I also agree that the editing is the most tedious part of the process but it feels good to get all the thought straightened out after that initial burst of creativity.


  5. Hooray for the creative inspiration! Long may it continue, it's lovely when those ideas flow. And they often flow when there's so much else you have to get done too!


  6. Maddy, I do the same thing! And sometimes I'm able to remember it all and sometimes it's just…gone. I try to let them go with some grace, but it's hard sometimes! Thanks for your comment. : )


  7. Hm, I always think of my Muse as female! Maybe because of the Muses in mythology? I'm starting to enjoy editing more, but it will never compare to the rush of true inspiration!


  8. The way you've equated getting into the writing zone to sex is perect. It is like that build up and anticipation and fumbling and falling over and desperation and love when you get an idea nd the chance to let it flow.
    Fitting everything in is something I struggle with too, but I'm just doing what I can to get by.
    Glad the Muse is with you again ๐Ÿ™‚ x


  9. Very glad to hear you've got your writing mojo back ๐Ÿ™‚ I really identify with the juggle you describe – I'm sure all of us do. And recognising that self-care is an important part of that is key I think! I've been managing to up my yoga practise significantly over the past couple of weeks, but only thorough doing it with my toddler. He's currently very much at the stage of climbing all over me, but I'm hoping that if I persist he'll find his zen. And we're both enjoying it in the mean time, which is all that matters really! xx


  10. Thanks, Chrissie. Happy to hear you're getting by. Things are always changing, aren't they? We think we've got it figured and then something else pops up, throwing our rhythm off. Sometimes “getting by” is the best we can do.


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